Post by Gale Dancer Kuro Serpentina on Jul 18, 2013 8:10:27 GMT -5
The title kinda says it all
To Valve Regarding Cave
This is something I wrote to go with Portal 2's cooperative testing inititive
(This was original supposed to be an audio drama-esk thing, but meh...
Here's the script)
Transmission 1
This thing working?
Yes?
Oh, Good!
Uh, yo... Sup Valve...
Ok, my names Kuro Serpentina and...
Oh fuck it!
Can you tell GLaDOS, Cave, or whoever it is to stop trying to trick us into making test chambers for them?
It’s so annoying! We’re no falling for it!
Just have it stop, ‘kay?
Thanks
Transmission 2
Ok, seems you didn’t take me seriously the first time, cause it’s still bucking happening...
Oh, and I have had it confirmed that it Cave Johnson sending these... weirdoes into our pocket dimension, leaving blueprints and them buggering off...
I have no intention of being forced to make them, A lot of them are crap, oh & the paper their made on doesn’t even burn right, so their totally useless to me!
Just please make it stop Valve...
Transmission 3
OK!
NOW I’M PISSED!
WHY?
For one, you’re ignoring my requests & two...
THE TOOK THE FUCKING BREAK ROOM!
*Background voices*
Oh & they’ve been raiding the vending machines...
This has gone beyond a mild annoyance Valve... This has become theft!
Tell that bastard Cave to stop it! Right now!
I’m dead fucking serious, dood...
Transmission 4
Ok... It hasn’t stopped...
And they took the break room... again...
Yep, rebuilt it, went to bed, got up & it was gone... again...
Along with the Porn that we’d confiscated from Gensokyo...
I’ve actually put together a petition...
Seven billion names are already on it!
Admittedly it’s just the fifteen of us that live in this dimension with all of our alternate selves, but still...
Just tell Cave to back off...
Or shits gonna get serious
Transmission 5
Yelp, still no reply...
And we’re still getting bothered...
And now our pool is gone...
Oh & our petition now has 45 individual names and all their alternates...
Including the names of higher being too...
Deities, Demi-gods, angels, demon... Moon people...
We got their names down...
Oh & we’ve ramped it up even more
*Door opens, with female voice yelling as she is manhandled into room*
We’re holding a hostage...
Her name’s Chell... you may have heard it before...
So get this asshole off our backs, or you’ll never see Chell again!
Transmission 6
*Sounds of something heavy being lugged towards mic, followed by a squelchy thump & a clatter of plastic*
Nicolas... S... Holengar...
Aperture Science...
R&D sector 3...
So... Valve...
Still no reaction from you in regards to the petition...
And now I’ve got one of Cave’s message boys here...
Dead...
*Squelching sounds*
I killed him myself...
*Another squelchy thump*
I’ve also set up a deal with GLaDOS about Chell...
She intents on using her to create herself a body
Just in case you wanna know how, look up the movie “Demon Seed” and it’s pretty much that, except the end result will be GLaDOS loose on the entire world with the power of every inch of Aperture backing her...
We’re dead serious now, get Cave to stop...
Or I’m gonna have to construct a Graveyard for this place and hope that doesn’t get nicked too...
Like the girls toilets...
To Valve Regarding Cave
This is something I wrote to go with Portal 2's cooperative testing inititive
(This was original supposed to be an audio drama-esk thing, but meh...
Here's the script)
Transmission 1
This thing working?
Yes?
Oh, Good!
Uh, yo... Sup Valve...
Ok, my names Kuro Serpentina and...
Oh fuck it!
Can you tell GLaDOS, Cave, or whoever it is to stop trying to trick us into making test chambers for them?
It’s so annoying! We’re no falling for it!
Just have it stop, ‘kay?
Thanks
Transmission 2
Ok, seems you didn’t take me seriously the first time, cause it’s still bucking happening...
Oh, and I have had it confirmed that it Cave Johnson sending these... weirdoes into our pocket dimension, leaving blueprints and them buggering off...
I have no intention of being forced to make them, A lot of them are crap, oh & the paper their made on doesn’t even burn right, so their totally useless to me!
Just please make it stop Valve...
Transmission 3
OK!
NOW I’M PISSED!
WHY?
For one, you’re ignoring my requests & two...
THE TOOK THE FUCKING BREAK ROOM!
*Background voices*
Oh & they’ve been raiding the vending machines...
This has gone beyond a mild annoyance Valve... This has become theft!
Tell that bastard Cave to stop it! Right now!
I’m dead fucking serious, dood...
Transmission 4
Ok... It hasn’t stopped...
And they took the break room... again...
Yep, rebuilt it, went to bed, got up & it was gone... again...
Along with the Porn that we’d confiscated from Gensokyo...
I’ve actually put together a petition...
Seven billion names are already on it!
Admittedly it’s just the fifteen of us that live in this dimension with all of our alternate selves, but still...
Just tell Cave to back off...
Or shits gonna get serious
Transmission 5
Yelp, still no reply...
And we’re still getting bothered...
And now our pool is gone...
Oh & our petition now has 45 individual names and all their alternates...
Including the names of higher being too...
Deities, Demi-gods, angels, demon... Moon people...
We got their names down...
Oh & we’ve ramped it up even more
*Door opens, with female voice yelling as she is manhandled into room*
We’re holding a hostage...
Her name’s Chell... you may have heard it before...
So get this asshole off our backs, or you’ll never see Chell again!
Transmission 6
*Sounds of something heavy being lugged towards mic, followed by a squelchy thump & a clatter of plastic*
Nicolas... S... Holengar...
Aperture Science...
R&D sector 3...
So... Valve...
Still no reaction from you in regards to the petition...
And now I’ve got one of Cave’s message boys here...
Dead...
*Squelching sounds*
I killed him myself...
*Another squelchy thump*
I’ve also set up a deal with GLaDOS about Chell...
She intents on using her to create herself a body
Just in case you wanna know how, look up the movie “Demon Seed” and it’s pretty much that, except the end result will be GLaDOS loose on the entire world with the power of every inch of Aperture backing her...
We’re dead serious now, get Cave to stop...
Or I’m gonna have to construct a Graveyard for this place and hope that doesn’t get nicked too...
Like the girls toilets...